At times it can be quite hard to deal with the money issues while you are in a relationship and if not solved, it can even lead to fights, underfunded saving accounts, and busted budgets. Well, in the worst cases, it can also lead to divorce.
Here are 7 helpful ways for talking to your partner about money before it gets too late.
Know Your Partner’s Perspective
When you are talking to your partner about money, it is important to be patient and try to understand what your partner is trying to express. Maybe your partner isn’t purposely being difficult. There are chances that he/she may have a different financial understanding and different expectations from you.
Each (spouse) has its own money beliefs about how the things should be made normal. Most of the times, these beliefs are not articulated instead they are acted out. You got into this together and make sure you get out of this together.
Know Each Other’s Financial Goals
You can learn each other’s financial goals by writing them down in a letter. Discuss your financial past in that letter and how your family dealt with that situation. This will help in learning what both of you think about money. Both of you should sit down and decide as who will be having control over the money or whether both of you should opt for a joint or single bank account. Make sure you have listed your retirement dreams.
Set Rules For Spending
While it is not important that you keep a check on every pound that your partner spends, setting rules for the large purchases does help in preventing impulsive buying of the unnecessary things. Above all, this helps in keeping both of you on the same page. Entirely depending on the budget, set this rule for a mutually agreed amount. All purchases surpassing this set amount should be discussed together.
Listen To Each Other
If your partner doesn’t feel comfortable in putting £160 a month in savings, make sure you have questioned why? Is it because your partner wants to make the payment for the debt? Or is it that your partner wants to eat more in the fancy restaurants than home? It is important what your partner thinks and find out if you can make a sensible negotiation. Make sure both of you are on the same page in order to finalise a set budget.
Discuss the Mistakes
Let us assume your partner has overspent his/her share of the budget. Avoid blaming your partner; instead find ways to prevent it from happening in the future. Make sure you don’t argue without your partner without knowing the reason, it can really make the things worse.
Following are some ways to stop your partner from overspending –
- Have a regular money meeting – First and foremost, it is important that both of you are willing to discuss. If you are not discussing, then you are making a mistake. A partner who overspends should know the consequences of his/her behaviour. It is advisable to have a regular meeting date where both of you should discuss the money issues.
- Set aside some money – Have a separate bank account for all your leisure activities. This account will certainly provide the overspending partner with the financial freedom and this will also help from breaking into your main account. The partner can spend the money without any restriction. Once the account is empty, he/she will have to wait for the payday to spend again.
- Cut up using credit cards – In case you have opted for envelope system for budgeting, but you have still kept the credit cards, then the temptation of using the credit cards can be irresistible for the obsessive shopaholics. If you really think this is the case with your partner, then make sure get rid of them right away. Financial experts are of the view that spending money can be addictive, especially when you can’t see the money leaving your hands.
Don’t Expect Perfection
Both you have to realise one thing that you don’t have to agree on everything that you discuss. Remember money management is not about being perfect, instead it is making your best moves to make adjustments as you need to. Both of you must be having unique ideas, you should try and make the most of each other’s strengths and start by working on the things both of you can agree on.
Know When To Seek Assistance
There may be a situation where you may end up asking yourself if you are fiscally compatible? It is important not to wait for too long instead seek professional assistance immediately. Non-profit credit counsellors play an important role here as they help you learn how to budget effectively, how to use the credit, and how you can deal with the debt. If you need any assistance with the communication skills, then you can seek the services of a clinical counsellor.
I hope now you are feeling encouraged to make those extra efforts to talk to your partner about the money. Remember your efforts can result in desired results and does make a great impact on your relationship. Money should never come in between your relationship. There are always ways in which you can sort out the money matters, all you need is to follow the above-discussed methods.